In one of my many talks with one of my conservative friends, we inevitably got to the subject of race and marriage. (Note: It’s been my experience that people who aren’t used to being around folks outside their race tend to bring up ‘race relations’ with a nauseating frequency. They also have a taste for prefacing their sentences with, “Well everyone’s a little bit racist,” or my favorite, “I’m not racist but…”).
Anyway, he claimed one of the ‘problems’ with black youth is that ‘most’ of us are raised in single family households — that if our parents married more often, we’d have have some sort of holy trinity between child, mother and father. Evidently, this lack of the family trifecta pushes young Negroes to perform poorly in school and happily in engage in socially harmful activities.
Not. Fucking. True.
Single parent households are not endemic to the black community. And young black Americans by-and-large are just as rowdy, ambitious and full of promise as any other American youth. The truth of the matter is this: marriage doesn’t solve anything.
The ring in that of itself is nothing without its meaning. It represents commitment, love and long-lasting partnership “till death do us part.” But marriage doesn’t cause these benefits, nor do these attributes always result in marriage. The problem is that a considerable number of Americans — regardless of whether they marry — simply aren’t staying together.
This piece offers some explanations as to why this may be, but in my view it simply reinforces the fact that people shouldn’t be oversimplified. People fall in and out of love, some marriages persist, others wilt — no color is exempt.