Erika Mayer / Uncategorized

Giant Bows (Erika Mayer)

Did I miss some memo about how attaching a giant bow to your head is attractive? That’s a hairstyle I haven’t rocked since I was about five years old. Somehow I restrain myself, but every time I see a girl with a big bow pinned on her head, I want to tell her she looks like a mix between a small girl and Professor Umbridge. The mix between confusion and fear results in a serious feeling of disgust and contempt.

I feel like there is an age threshold for these sorts of things. Big bows were cute at age five because the bow was normal-sized but your head was really small so it was cute. Now girls are just attaching humongous bows to their heads. They aren’t even pretending to serve a purpose by being attached to a clip, ponytail holder or headband. Just a big bow pinned on the side of some sorority girl’s head.

Generally, we don’t wear stirrup pants or bike shorts anymore. While I rocked the ponytail holder with ribbons on it in fourth grade volleyball, that accessory was retired long ago. And I only very rarely wear pajamas with feet on them. So why is this desire to look like a small child manifesting itself in co-ed fashion? I get the appeal of looking like a schoolgirl with potential Daddy issues, but this look is more of the juice and cookies before afternoon nap variety.

Maybe the worst part is that it is becoming part of a look. One girl in my class wears an enormous bow on her head every day. And she matches it with skin tight jeans, high-heeled boots and low cut shirts. Other than showing serious lack of judgment in not varying her wardrobe, this fashion choice seriously makes me wonder about her internal issues. I mean, I generally try to avoid things that scream “Take me home with you, I’m a little girl!” It’s just going to confuse the poor guys.

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